Keep Growing, Interesting Ones. Rock the Wild, Wonderful Journey.

Keep Going, Keep Growing - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

Are you hip to this bit of wisdom from Bob Dylan?

He [and she] who is not busy being born is busy dying.

We’re living at a time when “aging gracefully” is more doable than ever. The days when young folks had all the fun are over. When they had all the freedom. Now it’s totally possible for us to have multiple phases of life that are in fact age-neutral.

Changing the game

These days, people in their 50s, 60s, 70s, even 80s and 90s live very different lives from one another. Some act out beliefs that a certain age means it’s time to be tired, unhealthy, overweight. And in many ways done with self-care.

Others still jam on dreams and goals. Exercise. Eat smart. And practice self-care strategies like mindfulness and meditation that can truly change the aging game.

A growth mindset is win-win

A continuous-growth approach allows the wisdom of our elder years maximum space and time to develop. Then we can share that wisdom in all kinds of satisfying ways.

After all, we have our own difference to continue to make in the world. Traditional societies have always known this, but modern culture forgot. These days it’s time to change the game back again.

So I say the early 21st century is an amazing time to be “maturing.”

As birthdays accumulate

And of course no amount of self-care negates everything forever, no matter how much yoga we do. :) In truth, we all need ever greater inner fortitude as our birthdays accumulate.

In light of that truth, bravo to all who are jamming on beyond all kinds of old  boundaries. As you walk your own wild, wonderful 21st century path, reach out for the expert support you deserve.

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

 

Dare to Swap Those Hand-Me-Down Beliefs for New Possibilities This Year. This Life!

Are Your Beliefs Helping You Create - Life Coach Teresa Young

What do you believe, anyway? About life? About love? And work? And how about money?

Consciousness of your beliefs—of what drives you, and stops you—is a brave new approach to modern life. You can in fact dare to examine your beliefs. Question them. And make choices that change your life.

One big test of any belief is whether it’s fear-based, or focused on growth. Like believing that “love always fades to quiet boredom.” Maybe it’s been your experience so far, or you’ve seen it play out in the lives of others. Or you’ve heard that in long-held family knitting-circles or good ol’ boy logic.

But does any of that challenge you to keep risking for the juice you want in relationship? Or do you justify your own lack of heart due to, well, fear of heartache?

Most important, are you really free to choose? Consider that any reason why not is a belief, rather than some big truth. In truth, we’re living in an amazing era. You and I are really free to choose our beliefs if we’re ready to do this important inner work. Work that will move us forward in new ways. In the ways that matter most to us.

Now dare to go bravely cast off the hand-me-downs that don’t really suit you. As you get set to do that beautiful work, reach out for the support you deserve. Get yourself a coach!

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

How to Rock the Life You Want (Spoiler: First Be Beautiful YOU)

One Size Does Not Fit All ~ Life Coaching with Teresa Young

You want me to rock… life?

As a musician who became a coach, I often ask my clients this jammin’ question, “So, are you ready to rock life?”

If your answer to my question is yes!, then the classic Zappa quote here may interest you. It states the fact of the uniqueness of each of us. And those who know about Frank will tell you he was a man who walked his talk.

Frank Zappa walked his talk.

As a musician/composer and provocateur during the Vietnam era and beyond, Zappa created a legacy of compelling original music and acerbic social commentary. From genre-busting musical styles and types of ensembles, lyrics that took down all manner of sacred cows, and a lifestyle that was part of his art, he lived his truth. His own unique creative life.

Enter… you.

Enter this season of opportunity in your beautiful life. Are you stepping off the beaten path? Marching to the beat of your own drummer?

I’m having fun with cliches to get to the question of how to live in ways that are uniquely you. Read more of this scoop at www.oneideaaway.com.

 

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

8 Ways Past Chronic Conflict ~ You Know, the Searingly Painful Kind

Get Past Chronic Conflict - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

Chronic conflict can sap your strength. It can really mess up your life. Maybe you know just what I mean: the searingly painful kind, when every attempt to communicate ends in anger, sadness, and feelings of failure. Ugh.

The fact is, this kind of recurring bad dream is oh, so human. What to do? Let’s go there. 

1.  Begin with you.

Yes. You. The bottom line is, this is the only place where you have control. There isn’t a thing you can do about someone else’s actions and reactions. But there is an upside to that bad news: you can work, very effectively, with your part in any toxic stew. 

Now, think about these questions with your situation in mind:

What’s your goal for the communication? 

What are the potential land mines? 

How can you make your way around them to connect effectively?

What’s that gonna take from you?

2.  Create a constructive point of view.

Next, while considering all that, set aside your judgments, all that “yada yada yada” about the other person. Really. And yes, all your reasons not to will rear up here like ghosts from a grave. It’s understandable. 

Yet this is something we can do to get beyond conflict. We can, because of goals that matter to us, handle chronic issues in new ways. Like working to understand any differing commitments and values behind them. 

For example, let’s say two ex-spouses can’t communicate, and their kids are caught in the crossfire. Ouch. Right? And oh, so human.

But each parent can in fact step back, think about the situation, and find a point of view that eases conflict. Maybe their struggle is partly about being alike in some ways. Passionate. Uncompromising. Or still feeling things that get in the way of the work of the moment.

Each can in fact do the good work of assuming and imagining that the other is feeling similar feelings and frustrations, including a need to stop the madness. They can begin there. Then progress is possible. 

3.  Stay in the present.

Don’t waste energy rehashing the past. Really. It’s a losing battle that’s freaking over, already! Right? Instead, in the privacy of your own sincere heart, try releasing all the meanings you’re giving past and continuing failed attempts to communicate. They don’t mean a thing, except whatever power you give them.

Let it all go. You deserve it. Then connect in present time, calmly. Think solutions.

Like the mom and dad above, you can rise to the challenge. It’s self-discipline in action. Step up to that version of you. Then modeling that for the folks around you who will learn from your good work. 

4.  Keep coming back to you.

Let’s imagine another scene:

An employee can’t relate to her supervisor, feels mistreated or unappreciated, and knows wearing her emotions on her sleeve may hurt her career. It’s a “catch 22”, lose-lose. Because the truth is, her supervisor’s positive feedback is the gateway to bigger opportunities. 

If she counts out dramatic steps like going around the supervisor, which might backfire big-time, she can get about the business of giving up all her judgments about what has happened so far. (Yep, it’s work.)

She can own her part in the way things have gone so far. She can move forward, into the future she wants, rather than trying to get justice somehow by “being right” about whatever. Forget that losing battle.

Instead, maybe she can find some compassion within herself by picturing the supervisor’s difficult personal life. Or inspire herself with thoughts of the happy day when this relationship is in her rear-view mirror, because she negotiated it beautifully. Imagine that. And feel the energy those thoughts bring. Seriously!

5.  Create an intention for the conversation.

Creating an intention helps us bring our best to the table. One intention might be to have a simple, effective exchange. One first, small, calm victory. Another might be to stay centered throughout a particular conversation, no matter what curve balls get thrown.

Create an intention that energizes you. One that becomes your compass in potentially choppy waters as you manage yourself. Remember: work with what you can control. And mean it. Bring your A game.

Then success or failure isn’t in anyone’s hands but your own. If you handle yourself as you intended, you’ve succeeded. You’ve won! And you’ve grown.

6.  Prepare with a little role-play.

Why do so many of us hate role-playing? After all, we lived it 24 and 7, effortlessly, as kids. It’s in fact a secret weapon toward self-mastery in tough situations.

You can share with a helper a bit about the “rough weather” that may come your way. Then let this kind soul help you practice getting beyond those squals in ways that match your intention.

Make it fun! It will make a difference, maybe the difference, in getting beyond conflict.

7.  Agree to stop and re-schedule if needed.

Consider sharing your intention at the start of the conversation. It can help you begin with a new tone. New context. 

A couple of ground rules also help. One is to stick to I statements (I feel this, I request that), rather than you statements (you always this or you never that).

Another is to agree up front that if either person starts to get distressed, it’s time to close up shop and try again later. Like role-playing, this works, if you calmly follow through before slippage leads to wreckage.

Then even ending a conversation shows commitment to get beyond conflict. And it implies more good work to come.

8.  Imagine the outcome you want, not the one you fear.

Finally, like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day, keep upping your game toward better and better outcomes. Spend time envisioning exactly what you want. Progress like mutual kindness. New understanding. Positive results.

Then allow what you’ve imagined to guide you: your greeting, and your tone. The words you use. Your facial expressions and body language.

Be you. But your best you. Don’t hold that you back! What better time than in a moment that matters so much to you?

And let me know if you need some expert help, or a role-play partner. Remember, you—and yours—deserve an amazing life. Don’t let chronic conflict bring y’all down.

xo,
Teresa

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Begin Again Daily, With Your Life as Your Art. And Again. And Again. And Again.

Begin Again Daily - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

Have you noticed how we humans have good days and bad days, good moments, ones that don’t represent our best, and everything in between? Are you 100% clear that it isn’t just you?

Yes. Deep breath.

In living the life of your dreams, I invite you to get clear that Every. Single. Moment. is an opportunity to begin again. Are you on track, or off? How often do you step out of all your automatic thoughts and feelings to assess that? It’s a skill, like a muscle you can develop. And it’s all about practice.

Think of it as a healthy ritual that you can make a regular part of your great life.

If you know you’re on track, jam on, managing inner and outer challenges in the process. This management of all things works when you know you’re on the path that’s right for you. Because there’s inherent energy and inspiration in that knowledge that you can ride like a wave.

If you realize you’re off track, congrats, first, on the accomplishment of that honest reflection. Pat yourself on the back for it, cheerleading your own progress. Then assess further. What small or large shift will get you on your path again?

Then, armed with the results of your assessment, begin.

And know that, as wise Ezra Pound says above, you’re in very creative company.

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.