Remember to Play to Maximize Your Super-Productive Amazingness

Remember to Play - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

All work and no play makes… well, you know. But still, notice all the big and small anxieties and obstacles that may pop right up in front of you when you think about taking some real time for play time.

Really get your head in the playing game

This means time out that doesn’t just physically pause work mode. Instead, really turn your focus to playing and re-charging. Time psychologically and emotionally free from deadlines and devices, on hiatus from any and all projects.

Free from really still being in it and at it no matter what you’re doing or not doing. You creatively obsessed types know I’ve got your number, right? After all, it takes one to know one.

Though I’ll also note that some of you wise ones are really, really good at this! If so, be sure to celebrate that in yourself. Celebrate the inner and outer life you’ve crafted that’s super-conducive to balance in all things.

Get wise to your wiring

On the other hand, if real relaxation and play time, including real internal permission and cooperation, are a stretch for you, get curious about the “why” of that. What’s keeping the pedal to the metal, with you all work and no play?

The truth is, there can be so much in the mix. I laugh at my tendency to zip around like the energizer bunny in ways I found amusing about my mother for decades. She modeled it. I got the message on several levels.

Now I see it in my grown sons, too. We enjoy work. So we work! Given that truth, I’ll add that the image of a pendulum swinging helps me to craft balance.

Let the pendulum swing

Yep, let that pendulum swing, enjoyably. Time to work, time to play. Time to work… like your favorite playground swing set from childhood, back and forth and back again.

After all, a flow from work to play and back again is a dynamic you can count on, like sun and moon. Day and night. Even laughter and tears. It’s all in the mix. Beautifully.

Note the payoffs

And in the yin and yang of all things, you—and your loved ones—deserve play time! So set it aside. Schedule fun time. Chill time. Even just as a grand experiment. Afterward, as part of it, check in with the most goal-oriented part of you and note the value of that down time.

Zinged-up energy? Fresh ideas popping up out of nowhere?

Let me know how your grand experiment goes. Because I’m here for you, your beautiful goals, and your balanced lifestyle. Meanwhile, time to plan that little road trip… :)

xo,
Teresa

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

 

 

 



 

 

My Podcast, Episode 1: Live YOUR Dream, My Dears. For Real.

I’m excited to roll out my new Live Your Dream for Real podcast, episode 1. In fact, it represents me living my dream. :)

I don’t know where this is going

First, know this: I believe coaching others is an inherently creative act. So I’m stepping on into the unknown here, with this blank canvas. The truth is, I’m starting this new endeavor not knowing exactly where it’s going every step of the way from here. I don’t have the grand scheme all worked out!

And more, I say this is relevant to coaching others to live their dreams. Relevant in the realm of meaning and satisfaction in adult life, work, and relationships. Including our relationship to self. Our relationship to life.

The value of not knowing

Not knowing exactly where I’ll go from here, or how it will all turn out, is relevant to situations or seasons in which good people may be dealing with what I’ll call a crisis of meaning. Where on the outside things may be coming along beautifully, but something’s missing. There’s an emptiness to it.

Maybe what’s missing are all our most secret, sacred goals. The ones we’re quietly dreaming of, but not living.

The unknown can renew us

As a bit more foundation, I’ll share with you that my personal work, as an individual woman, is to continue to follow what I call the river of my own life and creative process. Wherever it leads me.

So that season by season, year by year, decade by decade, I am growing. I’m developing parts of myself that I haven’t known yet. And in the process, I’m constantly renewed by the fact that at least part of my creative process is always on into the unknown.

And I mean in both the outer world and in my inner world. As I develop parts of myself that I don’t know yet, skills that I don’t have yet, I refresh myself. Neurologically. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. It’s all good.

Toward expanding, not folding in

In truth, life may often seem to encourage us to gradually fold in. To tuck in. To risk and express less and less. Instead, living on into a continuing fullness that being in the unknown brings to our lives, well, that’s the quality of life I’m looking for.

Indeed, I say this is good for us humans living in the wild, wonderful 21st century. We’re truly blessed with so much opportunity to keep growing through the lives we lead.

Now, with these thoughts under your belt, jump on in and enjoy Live Your Dream for Real, episode 1. And please, send me your questions!

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

 

Creative Life, Meet the Chakras: How Creativity is Good for Your Health

Creativity is Good for Your Health - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

Why creativity and health?

You may be thinking, what’s one got to do with the other? The truth is, a lot.

Because we’re all born creative. We just express our creativity in different ways. Through the Arts, yes, but also in our own unique approach to whatever we enjoy doing.

That means anything and everything. Livelihood. Cooking. Parenting. Fashion!

Are  you a video game designer? An EMT? A teacher? Creativity shows itself in every profession.

Creativity is Good for Your Health - Life Coaching with Teresa YoungWhen we’re creatively engaged in life, we’re happily engaged. We’re satisfied. 100% in it, whatever it is. In the zone. Busy being ourselves.

And guess what? This is what work in the 21st century will be about, according to thinkers like Daniel Pink in his bestseller, Drive.

Pink makes the case that, as outsourcing and technology continue to replace us in many work arenas, our creative capabilities will become the surest routes to our livelihoods. Rings true to me. How about you?

OK, so where’s the wellness?

Aw we all know, there are all kinds of adages these days about loving what you do and doing what you love. And for good reason. It makes sense to us that living and working in ways that matter to us will affect the course of our lives.

When that’s the case, our energy, our life force, flows, rather than clogging from chronic frustration, bleeding out from too many forced yesses, or just flat-lining from freaking boredom. Yikes.

Creative life, meet the chakras

So to shed more light on creativity and health, we’ll spend some time here on the chakra system. We’ll go deep into the happy dance between creativity and wellness.

If the chakras are new to you, there’s a nice piece on the main ones here at mindbodygreen.com. But stay with me ’til I’ve made my creative case. :)

It starts here:

As we express ourselves in the world, our chakras—the fields of energy spinning in several areas around and through our bodies—are helped in their healthy flow.

~ Life Coach Teresa Young

So let’s start at the top and move down to the ground of our body/minds.

Creativity is Good for Your Health - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

7th Chakra Health

Through contact with our personal creative fire, we tap into collective creative consciousness. Into universal intelligence. Whoa! Right?

And no worries at all if this is foreign to you. We don’t have to be 100% into this level of awareness to reap its benefits, as long as we aren’t actively, adamantly closed in our thinking.

So just stay open, deliciously, to the mysteries and benefits of living your creative life fully. Just trust that it’s good for you. And stay with me.

Creativity is Good for Your Health - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

6th Chakra Health

Because when your particular creative urges have an honored place in your imagination, you’re fully “at play” in visioning your life. As you dream in sync with your deepest creative needs and visions, your third eye, the deep wisdom source in all of us, is active, open, and vibrating

In short, as you dare to dream creatively, your body/mind responds in kind. Inspiration is clean fuel, my dears. Now let’s pull it downward toward grounding our lives.

5th Chakra Health

Creativity is Good for Your Health - Life Coaching with Teresa YoungToward creativity and health, the next step is for our creative inspirations to take their place in our outer lives, rather than just in the privacy of our imaginations. This takes our acts of will. Our clear intentions and committed follow-through.

This satisfying way of living takes speaking our truth in life. About who we are. About what we want to contribute.

We don’t have to be the best at it, or famous for it. We just have to risk being ourselves. To act on that. To passionately, actively be, in the world, who we really are

And not just once a year on summer vacation, but as part of the daily round of our days and nights. Beautiful. And good for us!

Creativity is Good for Your Health - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

4th Chakra Health

Further, we can say that healthy creative expression is love in action. Because the heart chakra opens when we act in the world as who we really are.

Living as our real selves is a way of giving to life. Then we’re fed in return by humbly creating livelihoods around our passions. By contributing ourselves to life.

And that’s inspiring. Right?

If it seems daunting, consider that it may mean living simply. And of course our materialistic culture doesn’t exactly encourage that. But so what? Be counter-cultural. Imagine your open-hearted, creative life. Then scale down as needed.

This is healthy for the 4th chakra. Healthy for our hearts, that powerful engine of our bodies with its own deep intelligence.  How can we keep our 4th chakra spinning happily by living in ways that contribute lovingly to life?

3rd Chakra Health

Creativity is Good for Your Health - Life Coaching with Teresa YoungNext, as we go deeper, closer to the ground of our lives, the truth is that living our unique contribution to life takes personal power. It takes consistent output. And it takes regular self-renewal, my dears. We can’t fake this combo, or we end up outa gas

On the other hand, if we’re living and working in satisfying, healthy, balanced ways, we’re coming from core, as they say in yoga class. This makes everything we want possible.

In short, we have to own both our personal power and our responsibility to take extraordinary care of ourselves. That’s a 3rd chakra gig, my dears. Creativity and health, indeed.

Creativity is Good for Your Health - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

2nd Chakra Health

Now, as we live our inner creative fire, allowing it to design our outer lives, we access healthy 2nd chakra energy. It’s a sense of well-being, abundance, and gratitude. Pleasure. Sensuality. 

Mmmmmm. Right?

This is gut energy. Cojones and ovarios energy. Intuition, attraction, satisfaction, and self-expression fully at play in our lives. 

And yes, living this way definitely affects our love lives. A nagging sense that something is missing in our relationships could be right on the money, with that something being… well… us! Because our creative satisfaction brings fire to any relationship dance we’re doing. 

Speaking of money, it’s a 2nd chakra issue, too. “If you build it they will come” and “do what you love and the money will follow” are both 2nd chakra mantras. Time, faith, and committed, balanced, relaxed action are a healthy 2nd chakra combo.

Creativity is Good for Your Health - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

1st Chakra Health

1st chakra health grounds our body/minds in life.

When we design our lives to support our creative self-expression, including how we live, pay our bills, and nourish ourselves, literally and figuratively,  we can truly walk our talk in the world. We’re in healthy relationship to life.

The grounded path we deserve to walk wants to be satisfying, rather than a 4-alarm fire. Rather than constant, adrenaline-fueled crisis mode. Try not hurrying. Try trusting your process. Just calmly note and calmly follow the flow of your energy.

Where is your life force headed this season if you trust it? Think and feel your way. And get yourself some expert support if confusion or fear are zapping your energy.

So keep on keepin’ on in your creative life

In the midst of it all, keep those creative juices flowing, my dears, including right on out into the real world. Don’t save it for someday.

Express yo’self in healthy, satisfying ways today. Tomorrow. Next week. As central to your beautiful life. Because I say you being the real you is your contribution.

It’s definitely win-win. Now feel free to share your insights and experiences on creativity and health with me here.

xo,

Teresa

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

 

Want to Jack Up Your Progress? Then Take This Note: The Fuel is This Version of Self-Love.

On Self-Love - Life Coach Teresa Young

I happened onto the hashtag #selflove on Twitter last night, and I was curious about how it was being used So I checked out the definition someone had given it on tagdef.com.

Could have several empowering meanings, but is often used as a politically correct term for solo masturbation.

Basically, I’m not buyin’ it

Interesting, and maybe useful to some. But way off base in my view. Honestly, it confused me a bit. Just not at all what I expected. So I looked up self-love on dictionary.com. Check out this depressing definition:

1.  the instinct by which one’s actions are directed to the promotion of one’s own welfare or well-being, especially an excessive regard for one’s own advantage [italics mine].
2.  conceit; vanity.
3.  narcissism.

 

Yikes. That’s harsh! Especially since we tend to be in constant overdrive these days. But then I realized, I’m just not buyin’ this. In fact, I think it needs a 21st century reboot.

So what’s a self-loving woman to do?

In short, I just took matters into my own hands. :)

I went back to tagdef.com, entered #selflove, and added my own definition:

Self-love: a healthy, positive sense of self that creates resulting habits of self-nurturance and self-care, rather than waiting for someone or something outside us to deem us lovable and to care for us.

Example Usage:
“Self-love creates a healthy foundation for empowered choices.”

 

To be sure, I could have worked on that a bit more before I hit “done.” But so be it. It’s there now. I hope it’ll be helpful to someone, somewhere, sometime.

Because I say self-love is essential in our action-packed lives. In our lives of service to family and community. Our lives jammed with productivity.

Self-love makes a difference

I say we’re wise to take amazing care of ourselves in the midst of whatever we’re up to in the world. I say self-love creates fertile soil. From there everything we want to be, do, and contribute can blossom and grow.

So I say go get ’em from a foundation of self-love, my dears. And more, keep coming back to the place of balance that self-love demands.

The fact is, we can’t go entirely off the deep end while we’ve also got to get on to a nutritious meal. A good night’s sleep. And all the other healthy parts of our self-care lists.

All things in their own time and place, right? Are you with me on this? Good. Because I’ve got to get some rest!

xo,
Teresa

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 Ways Past Chronic Conflict ~ You Know, the Searingly Painful Kind

Get Past Chronic Conflict - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

Chronic conflict can sap your strength. It can really mess up your life. Maybe you know just what I mean: the searingly painful kind, when every attempt to communicate ends in anger, sadness, and feelings of failure. Ugh.

The fact is, this kind of recurring bad dream is oh, so human. What to do? Let’s go there. 

1.  Begin with you.

Yes. You. The bottom line is, this is the only place where you have control. There isn’t a thing you can do about someone else’s actions and reactions. But there is an upside to that bad news: you can work, very effectively, with your part in any toxic stew. 

Now, think about these questions with your situation in mind:

What’s your goal for the communication? 

What are the potential land mines? 

How can you make your way around them to connect effectively?

What’s that gonna take from you?

2.  Create a constructive point of view.

Next, while considering all that, set aside your judgments, all that “yada yada yada” about the other person. Really. And yes, all your reasons not to will rear up here like ghosts from a grave. It’s understandable. 

Yet this is something we can do to get beyond conflict. We can, because of goals that matter to us, handle chronic issues in new ways. Like working to understand any differing commitments and values behind them. 

For example, let’s say two ex-spouses can’t communicate, and their kids are caught in the crossfire. Ouch. Right? And oh, so human.

But each parent can in fact step back, think about the situation, and find a point of view that eases conflict. Maybe their struggle is partly about being alike in some ways. Passionate. Uncompromising. Or still feeling things that get in the way of the work of the moment.

Each can in fact do the good work of assuming and imagining that the other is feeling similar feelings and frustrations, including a need to stop the madness. They can begin there. Then progress is possible. 

3.  Stay in the present.

Don’t waste energy rehashing the past. Really. It’s a losing battle that’s freaking over, already! Right? Instead, in the privacy of your own sincere heart, try releasing all the meanings you’re giving past and continuing failed attempts to communicate. They don’t mean a thing, except whatever power you give them.

Let it all go. You deserve it. Then connect in present time, calmly. Think solutions.

Like the mom and dad above, you can rise to the challenge. It’s self-discipline in action. Step up to that version of you. Then modeling that for the folks around you who will learn from your good work. 

4.  Keep coming back to you.

Let’s imagine another scene:

An employee can’t relate to her supervisor, feels mistreated or unappreciated, and knows wearing her emotions on her sleeve may hurt her career. It’s a “catch 22”, lose-lose. Because the truth is, her supervisor’s positive feedback is the gateway to bigger opportunities. 

If she counts out dramatic steps like going around the supervisor, which might backfire big-time, she can get about the business of giving up all her judgments about what has happened so far. (Yep, it’s work.)

She can own her part in the way things have gone so far. She can move forward, into the future she wants, rather than trying to get justice somehow by “being right” about whatever. Forget that losing battle.

Instead, maybe she can find some compassion within herself by picturing the supervisor’s difficult personal life. Or inspire herself with thoughts of the happy day when this relationship is in her rear-view mirror, because she negotiated it beautifully. Imagine that. And feel the energy those thoughts bring. Seriously!

5.  Create an intention for the conversation.

Creating an intention helps us bring our best to the table. One intention might be to have a simple, effective exchange. One first, small, calm victory. Another might be to stay centered throughout a particular conversation, no matter what curve balls get thrown.

Create an intention that energizes you. One that becomes your compass in potentially choppy waters as you manage yourself. Remember: work with what you can control. And mean it. Bring your A game.

Then success or failure isn’t in anyone’s hands but your own. If you handle yourself as you intended, you’ve succeeded. You’ve won! And you’ve grown.

6.  Prepare with a little role-play.

Why do so many of us hate role-playing? After all, we lived it 24 and 7, effortlessly, as kids. It’s in fact a secret weapon toward self-mastery in tough situations.

You can share with a helper a bit about the “rough weather” that may come your way. Then let this kind soul help you practice getting beyond those squals in ways that match your intention.

Make it fun! It will make a difference, maybe the difference, in getting beyond conflict.

7.  Agree to stop and re-schedule if needed.

Consider sharing your intention at the start of the conversation. It can help you begin with a new tone. New context. 

A couple of ground rules also help. One is to stick to I statements (I feel this, I request that), rather than you statements (you always this or you never that).

Another is to agree up front that if either person starts to get distressed, it’s time to close up shop and try again later. Like role-playing, this works, if you calmly follow through before slippage leads to wreckage.

Then even ending a conversation shows commitment to get beyond conflict. And it implies more good work to come.

8.  Imagine the outcome you want, not the one you fear.

Finally, like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day, keep upping your game toward better and better outcomes. Spend time envisioning exactly what you want. Progress like mutual kindness. New understanding. Positive results.

Then allow what you’ve imagined to guide you: your greeting, and your tone. The words you use. Your facial expressions and body language.

Be you. But your best you. Don’t hold that you back! What better time than in a moment that matters so much to you?

And let me know if you need some expert help, or a role-play partner. Remember, you—and yours—deserve an amazing life. Don’t let chronic conflict bring y’all down.

xo,
Teresa

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyday Mystery: How Can We Express It These Days Beyond the Old Ways?

Everyday Mystery - Life Coaching with Teresa Young

How can we find language for “everyday mystery” these days? And I mean in ways beyond all the old constructs that no longer ring true to us. That feel tired, or loaded. Or trigger us in ways we don’t want. Poems are one way.

You can’t know what I have to share
unless I tell you. I know,
I know, it’s all loaded, the spiritual,
no way to cross that threshold with anyone
who hasn’t opened—or who has closed
with good reason—
that door.
No way to offer that wine.
Or is there? Is noting a baby’s breath enough,
or a dew-covered tomato shining
out of vined profusion
in the backyard, next to the fig tree
spilling its jewels?

But then those moments come,
like sudden lightning that clears the field
and jolts our hearts, too,
simple exchanges
that meet their mark.
That matter.
What will I see, feel, know,
contribute, and be fed by today if I watch
closely, present to the mystery
in everything? The question
thrills me. And
that matters, too.

 

Life Coaching with Teresa Young
Photo: John Livzey

Teresa Young wants you living your dream, for real. She coaches by phone, in person in Los Angeles, and via Skype outside the U.S.